I know I don't want to live alone,
but I know I can't live with others.

Its so tiring because I can't look sad when I want to. (although I can't hide my emotions so no use knowing if its right or not. I'll end up looking sad even if I know it affects others' moods.)

Its tiring to live with people because I'm so odd and I like personal conversations. Sometimes you want to say something to someone, but you can't do it cause the entire group's there. Things I want to say never get off my mind until I actually say it.

Its impossible to feel close to everyone in a group but if you're in a small group the conversations can get more personal and genuine. People tend to be less real when they're not so close to a person. In this case, its not like putting on a facade or anything. Its just being too conscious, like i am now.


Please do not judge me for not being able to act like myself lately. By asking you to not judge me, I'm already being conscious..

and I haven't been able to speak to anybody at all...